Dancing to China

At some point Charles will write his version of the engagement!

But in the meantime, the bride’s version…

Charles and I tried to take a good, but not too expensive, vacation every year. In 2004, it was New Orleans, and we loved that so much that we returned again in 2005 (both times in August). Unfortunately, a week after we left in 2005, hurricane Katrina struck the Crescent City, and we couldn’t bear to return in the next year knowing it was not the same city we had visited the 2 years prior. Instead, we decided to go to Tybee Island with my family, a beach Charles fell in love with when he would visit with his friends from Atlanta, and one that I had fallen in love with in 2004 during a brief stay (hey, any beach that actually has warm water is a winner in my book). And when February 2007 rolled around- time for year-end bonuses and tax returns (remember those days?)- I begged Charles to take a cruise. I extolled the virtues of eating as much as you possibly could, visiting exotic locations that you might never otherwise get a chance to see, and glossing quickly over the fact that Charles would have to wear khaki pants and a shirt that wasn’t a cotton T to dinner. Charles finally relented (although convincing him that the food at dinner was worth wearing something that wasn’t a pair of cargo shorts, and that, yes, he could change back into his comfy clothes immediately after dinner, was NOT an easy task). We began to look at all of the cruises available: we knew we needed lots of time to save money, we didn’t want to sail during hurricane season, we wanted a cruise that would be predominantly adults, we wanted one with several days at sea so that we HAD to relax, and we wanted one (for Charles) that wasn’t too “beachy.” We found the perfect cruise sailing on December 1st out of Fort Lauderdale for 8 nights and it visited Panama, Cost Rica, and Belize, with four days at sea. Having only taken one other cruise before this with my sister Caroline, but one that had been my favorite vacation, I pushed Charles to let us have a balcony room- which he agreed to since that meant he could smoke outside without having to go up on deck. Our travel agent happened to be the wife a co-worker and friend, and she hooked us up by getting us the cheapest balcony room price and putting us on the top cabin deck! It was amazing! The other lesson I had learned from cruising with Caroline was that taking an extra day off to chill out at a hotel in port BEFORE the cruise made a world of difference, so that you didn’t end spending the first half of the cruise just trying to de-stress. Charles went along with it and the travel agent managed to book us a day at a wonderful resort through Carnival- YEA! This vacation was going to be fantastic, and I couldn’t wait!

The months went by and about half way through the wait (so, late summer), I was finally starting to let myself get excited. Charles wasn’t quite there, and he claimed it was because he didn’t know what to expect on the cruise. Once he received his first-ever passport in the mail, though, I think he started to let himself think about the upcoming cruise as an interesting vacation possibility. In the late fall, he was getting as excited as I was, because at that point we just wanted a vacation- ANY vacation. We were burnt out!!!! The last few weeks before the cruise we were really trying to be good with the money- we’d made the final payment on the cruise, but we both wanted to go cash-only on the cruise and avoid using any credit cards at all. That meant making sure whatever we wanted to spend on on-ship souvenirs, drinks, and the supper club had to be in cash in our pocket when we got on the plane on the morning of November 30th. Needless to say, we were both pretty stressed out, and Charles’ second job as a bartender had him working crazy hours at night, so we saw each other mostly in passing. I was a little luckier than he because I had used very few vacation days during the year, so I took off the two days prior to our leaving to get everything straight for the vacation: taking Baxter to the vet, getting the cash from the bank, making sure we had tip money, get laundry done, and buy last minute things for the cruise (bathing suits, suntan lotion, sunglasses, an extra long-sleeve shirt for Charles for dinner, etc.). And of course I was determined to start my vacation early, so I made sure I had a manicure, pedicure, massage, and a hair cut that Thursday too! My Spa Day was fantastic, and I came home from my hair cut around 6:30pm feeling fantastic. Charles and spent the previous day at work all day and working a night shift at Solstice, and then having to work all day Thursday again. Can we say he was STRESSED???? We had agreed to scrounge for dinner on our own, and I sent him back out to try and relax so that I could start packing with a vengeance. I was happy that Charles wasn’t home because, frankly, I could think straight, not be distracted, and make sure I had almost everything I wanted. Charles came home at about 10pm and he, in the sickenly quick way of his, packed all of his clothes in about 15 minutes, and in almost one bag (the long pants and shirts went into the garment bag). He didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk, and that was fine too- he went to the back bedroom and fell asleep on the futon. I stayed up packing (and re-packing his bag so the shirts and shorts weren’t a jumbled mess), and went to bed at about 3am, knowing I needed to pack a few items in that I had worn during the week and needed to wash that night, as well as all my toiletries, and a bottle of scotch for Charles and a bottle of wine for me wrapped up tight inside our clothes (both no-no’s for bringing on to the cruise ship).

Our flight left the next morning at 9:55am, which meant that we needed to be at the airport by 8:30am, and leave the house by 8am… which meant we had to aim to leave at 7:30am. Not awful, but when that alarm went off, I did not want to get up after staying up half the night. We probably got up around 7am, which left a short time for me to shower, finish grabbing the stuff I wanted, and shove it into the bags. Charles took his shower, and I wasn’t paying much attention at first, but realized he was running around the house increasingly worried. I asked him what the heck he was doing (had he misplaced some of his cash?), after all I KNEW he was finished packing- I’d repacked his bag and also double checked to make sure he had everything he could need (suit, tie, socks, shoes, T-shirts, bathing suits, flip-flops, khakis, etc.). I asked him if I could help him with whatever he was doing and was secretly relieved when he said, “No, everything’s FINE” (when it obviously wasn’t), because I needed every minute to finish packing my stuff, and I didn’t want a repeat of the year before when we’d missed our flight to New Orleans because I was packing late, we had several bags, and missed the cut off for getting them checked in by 5 minutes. I probably actually got myself together at about 7:50am, and I looked at Charles and asked if he was ready to go- and he said yes.

I was elated- we were ON VACATION. We’d been planning this since February, even if I was the only one of the two of us who had anything to compare this kind of vacation to. Even the drive to the airport was fantastic- away from rush-hour traffic, on-time, and with everything I could possibly have thought up to pack shoved in 3 pieces of luggage and a carry-on. Charles was a bit cranky but we hadn’t eaten or had much caffeine- and y'all know how Chaz is without his morning Mountain Dew! And I knew he was still thinking about stuff at work too. Plus, he’s not crazy about flying, so while I loved that part of the trip he was slightly freaking out on the inside. We grabbed some breakfast at the airport, got ourselves onto the

plane, and arrived in Fort Lauderdale with no issues- Charles started to relax! It helped that we had an entire full-sized tour bus all to ourselves to take us from the airport to the hotel (thanks Carnival!), and Fort Lauderdale was beautiful. The resort we were staying at for that night was the Hyatt Regency Pier 66- very beautiful, and we had a room that opened up directly onto the central grounds with an amazing pool. Charles and I checked in, got our luggage into the room (and made sure the scotch and wine were still intact), and decided to have lunch at the cabana grill, which was about as good as any 4 star restaurant I’ve been to- I had a crab seviche salad that was amazing. After that we decided to relax until it was time to go to dinner that night at a restaurant we’d picked ahead of time- so I changed into my new bathing suit and read a book in the sun, and Charles relaxed watching sports at the bar. I finally dragged myself up after a few hours to find Charles so we could get to dinner, and after we brushed our hair, the front desk called us a cab to take us to the Rustic Inn, home of the best crab waiting to be picked in Fort Lauderdale, and some of the best I’ve ever had in my life! Charles and I had picked this as a belated birthday dinner for him, and we planned to be the biggest crab gluttons we could be. Armed with napkins, bibs, wooden hammers and our fingers (but alas, not my camera), we started off with a dozen raw oysters on the half shell, and Florida stone crab claws. We each ordered the Crab Sampler, which had Dungeness crabs, Golden Crabs, Alaskan Queen crab legs, and blue crabs. Several of the crabs had been sautéed in the richest garlic butter sauce you could dream of, and Charles and I left there barely able to walk. Luckily, a taxi took us back to the hotel so that we could try and walk off our sinfully gluttonous misery around the pool, and finally fall asleep. Charles was having a great time, as was

I, and he seemed more relaxed! I just wanted him to like the cruise as much as I knew I was going to…

We didn’t have to meet our transportation to the port until noon the next day, so we spent the next morning doing our own thing again- I spent more time by the pool in the sun, and Charles read his book and watched sports. We finally dragged ourselves away from the Pier 66 and met our first 2 cruise-mates on the shuttle over to the port. I was completely and utterly thrilled and that first view of the ship was absolutely amazing. Charles was finally as open-mouthed as I was. I had tried to describe how big some of these cruise ships

were, how the one we were going to be on (the Carnival Miracle) was going to be mid-sized but was a newer ship. Well, the reality of the size of the ships hit Charles in port, and I think everything we’d talked about really started to become a reality to him- the dinners, the slide, hanging out at the adult pool and bar, the casino, having a night at the fancy supper club (extra money but OH was it beyond worth it), and on top of all of that having someone make your bed up every morning and night, and getting to see 3 foreign countries! Charles tried to calm me down (hyperactive chipmunk that I am) and I probably embarrassed him a little- he was a bit tense in the line as we got through all the security checks and on the ship. The rooms were accessible when we got on so we found our cabin and dropped our carry on, knowing our luggage would make it’s way to the room. We had our first lunch in the buffet and walked as much of the ship as we could, as well as made sure we put our

cash down at the purser’s desk so we could begin to use our sail & sign cards to get a drink or two! It was about time for the lifeboat drill at 4pm when we went back to our cabin to grab the vests- some of my luggage had already arrived, although not Charles’ luggage with the scotch (never fear, I told him, they have til 8pm to get everything, and our dinner wasn’t til 8:15pm). We played around the ship some more, enjoyed sailaway, stopped by the spa, picke dour night for the Supper Club, and generally poked our noses into everything until it was getting close to dinner, so we decided to go back to the cabin and change clothes. Well… Charles’ luggage was STILL not there (I’m thinking “Great, what a way to make a first impression on Charles with cruising!”) and of course the one thing we didn’t do was make sure we had some of each other’s clothes in the other suitcase. So ALL of Charles’ clothing except his suit and dress pants were in the missing bag, and it was almost 8pm. We’d been to the purser’s desk already, we’d checked the missing bag pile 3 times to no avail, the steward knew we were looking, and they couldn’t find it either! Charles was convinced they had confiscated the luggage because of the scotch, and I told him that was not the case- they would have overlooked it, surely. But we DID realize the steel-toed shoes were in the bag- maybe that had set a sensor off? We went back to the purser’s desk again (Charles is really stressed by now) to check, but to no avail- the purser says we would have already been contacted if there had been a dangerous item identified in the

bag. We were just about to go to dinner (it was 8:10pm) when we look at the nearly empty pile of homeless bags… and I see it!!! Upside down so it looks all black- the handles had been completely ripped off the piece of luggage, so the identifying tags, the piece of ribbon, everything was gone- but it was our bag, b/c it had our lock on it! We were immensely relieved, ran back to the room for Charles to change, and made dinner on-time!

WHEW. We had the table (for four) to ourselves, and figured our tablemates would show up the next night. Needless, to say, we had a great evening (and some of the best smoked salmon ever), although Charles was still agitated. I couldn’t blame him, after his first introduction to cruising involved almost losing all of his clothes!

The next morning was a day at sea, but it was beyond windy. Charles said he needed time to de-stress a bit on his own and that was fine with me, we had agreed that our schedules didn’t have to coincide 100% of the time, and all I wanted was to read my book in the sun on a chair on the adult aft deck. We had lunch together briefly, and Charles didn’t look 100% happy. I was convinced he was unhappy on the cruise, but he kept saying no. Ok, sure… After a quiet, albeit windblown day (with the only land in sight

being Cuba), we ended up meeting back at the cabin so we could get ready for our first formal night- which of course I love and Charles grits his teeth on, since it meant suit and tie. I wore the champagne colored dress and the blue shoes I had worn to our friends Dolph and Kara’s wedding, and Charles looked quite dashing himself. He looked a little seasick but said he was fine, we were both looking forward to dinner, and to taking a walk around the upper decks afterward to really see what it looked like at night away from land and the world. He even consented to stopping at some of the photographer’s set-ups so we could have our picture taken (a moment that I knew he truly loved me, to be suffering the outfit and the pictures! Also, they happen to be the only pictures of the evening). We had checked the menu out ahead of time and knew what we wanted, and I was determined to have 2 entrees… and 2 soups (which I ended up doing every night)… and of course an appetizer… and a dessert! No tablemates again on this night, which was fine by us! We still sat next to each other instead of across because it was wonderful to be next to each other- plus we could steal bites of each other’s plates! At one point in the meal Charles said he had to go to the bathroom and was gone a good while. I figured the first bathroom must have been occupado. Later in the evening I begged Charles to grab me some bath tissue so I could blow my nose (sorry, not very delicate, was that?) and amazingly he came back in 1/3 of the time from before. Ok, weird, but, whatever. I stuffed myself… no, I was BEYOND stuffed. All I could think about was how much I’d overeaten, but how I loved every bite and wouldn’t have changed a thing. All I wanted was to go plop myself down at the after-dinner show but Charles reeaalllly wanted to take the walk, so I said fine. The wind had not died down from earlier, though, and they still had the top most decks closed off, and the main Lido deck also had the prow of the ship closed off. We walked (I waddled in high heels thinking about my VERY full tummy, which was ballooned out in an unflattering way in that pretty champagne dress) around for a bit with our hair blowing every which way, and we headed close to the front of the ship, aiming for one of the ash trays they have along the starboard side for smokers like Charles. I made a comment about needing to snuggle close to him because the wind was chilly when you didn’t have sleeves on, and he reached in his pocket as I looked over the side of the railing, trying to angle myself so that I could snuggle up and stay warm and not have the smoke blow on me. But when I looked around, it wasn’t cigarettes and a lighter in his hand but a jewelry box. A very square shaped, hinged jewelry box, and it was about then that I think my brain turned off and my ears got really fuzzy. He said “Would you do

me the honor of snuggling with me for the rest of my life?” and I remember staring at the ring in the box. I must have had a really funny look on my face; I was about to cry, and mind you, I was VERY, VERY, VERY SHOCKED- this is the man who said “no marriage, EVER.” I started hugging him and I think I was pretty much squealing with no intelligible words coming from my mouth or my brain (maybe it sounded like I was crying?); I suddenly heard him say very fast (babbling even might be the right word) he was saying something about the ring not being my real ring, and he was trying to explain what was the real ring, and everything is running together and buzzing in my head when like a bell I realize I haven’t answered him at all, so I pulled away, grabbed him on either side of his face, and said “YES!!!!!!!!!” then promptly resumed crying and squealing again.

It turned out that Charles had originally wanted to propose with his Great Aunt’s ring- a very old piece of jewelry he had taken to get fixed at a jeweler. Well, 2 weeks before the cruise the jeweler told him he couldn’t fix it, the metal was too old and worn (ahhhhh, 2 weeks- about when he started getting super stressed at work….). he apparently had to spill the beans that he was proposing because he didn’t know what to do at that point. Becky advised him to buy another ring, something I could wear later on, and then let me pick out my engagement ring later. Charles took that advice and visited one of my favorite jewelry stores, Boris & Natasha’s, to pick a spectacular sterling silver a crystal costume jewelry ring. It didn’t have a box with it, so he even bought a special beautiful little metal jewel box to put it in, lined in purple velvet. Well- guess what Charles hides the night before the cruise and can’t find the morning we fly out? Yep! You guessed it. He can’t remember where he stashed the ring!!!!! He is heading out to propose to me on a cruise ship and has already gone through 2 rings, and has none to propose with. He ended up buying a lovely, inexpensive ring at the ships’ jewelry store, and had spent the day avoiding me because he was so nervous, and hoping I wouldn’t check the sail and sign account which would have shown the purchase. He had wanted to propose on the night we went to the supper club, half way through the cruise, but thought I’d pick up on the purchase of the 3rd ring before then,

so sucked up and did it that first formal night. When we returned home, we immediately started looking for the ring. Well, now that I knew what I was looking for, I went to the first place I thought of- his underwear basket- stuck my hand in, and pulled out the ring!!! Later that month, we went to the jewelry store where I picked out the diamond solitaire I have now, so I proud to say I am a gal with 4 engagement rings, and I love every single one of them. Turns out, Charles had been planning the engagement since April, and never spilled the beans to me. WOW! Now I understand why he was increasingly stressed and sick to his stomach until that night. The rest of the cruise was awesome, and in a way it was fantastic to be able to enjoy being engaged without having the pressure of calling folks to tell them- 7 glorious days all to myself, and to anyone we chose to tell on the cruise- which happened to be everyone!!!